junk drawer.

I love moving.

I must-I’ve lived in 16 houses in my 34 years!

I love the process.
I love packing up our most valuable possessions and rearranging them in a new place.
But I am obsessed with the junk.
I love to de-clutter and throw away the junk that’s just been getting in the way.

Except that ever elusive junk drawer.
I’m not a fan.

It’s the last thing to pack, which means it doesn’t get sorted through at all. It’s more of an “I’m so tired of packing that I’m just going to toss this all in a box and go through it when we’re settled at the new place” kind of thing.

Except then it sits in the garage.
Untouched.
While a new junk drawer is forming organically on it’s own.
Forgotten only until you need that one thing that you can’t find or it’s time to clean out the garage because you’re packing up and moving to the next place.

So I was at church the other day.
(I know…random…but follow me for a minute)
And during a quiet moment found myself uttering a prayer that went something like this…

“God, I need a little help here. I need to make some changes, I’ve made a mess of my life. Wait. That’s not true. I haven’t made a mess. More like I have some stuff I need to adjust and get better at. Kind of like my own personal junk drawer.”

(And the blogger in me rejoiced! A new post was brewing!)

I’ve been doing some soul searching lately (remember project me?) and I’m really proud of the big things in life I’ve been able to get through, push through and make happen. I have a good job, great kids who are happy and healthy, Mr. Man and I are freshly, happily married. I’ve been through some rough patches but managed to get back up, dust myself off and keep moving forward. That’s big! That doesn’t equate to “God, I’ve really made a mess of my life.”

But.
It’s the junk drawer stuff that gets me.

It’s in the details. The way I micromanage or learn to let go. It’s the way I force my control on others or allow them space to do their own thing. It’s the character flaws that don’t derail my life but are unpleasant when they go unchecked. At least that’s what all of my people tell me it is…unpleasant.

THOSE are the junk drawer.
And it’s totally easy to stick them in a box and ignore them.
They aren’t that important to daily life.
And I’m doing pretty good anyway.

But then there’s a moment,
A situation,
An issue.
Where the junk drawer traits rear their ugly heads.

So I’m left with this prayerful attitude and realization.
Goes a little something like this…

“God, I know life is pretty good. And I’m grateful for the people I’ve been blessed with in my life and the strength I’ve been given to get me where I am today. But I have a few things that I have neglected, reasoned away or made excuses for. I’m far from perfect and I have some work to do. I would like some help cleaning up my junk drawer.”

I like this prayer better.
And while I’m not a fan of the junk drawer,
I think it may be time to de-clutter it.

-McGee