non-obligatory mother's day post

Sometimes Mother's Day can be anti-climactic.
Even upsetting and emotional.

I can remember a few Mother's Day's sitting in a pew at church hearing stories about the most amazing mother's ever and not knowing how I would or could ever measure up to that.

Add to that my preggo hormonal emotions AND the cover of Time magazine asks me this week "Are You Mom Enough" and I'm maybe at my wits end with this glorious day we celebrate mothers.

It's not a race.  It's not a challenge.  It's not a competition.  I am the right mom for each of my kids.  And my mom was the right mom for each of us girls.  The working mommy vs. stay at home mommy debate rears it's ugly head in society every couple of years and it's just infuriating.  We should be building each other up and supporting other mom's, not critiquing and feeling insufficient to some perfect mold made up in our heads.

(stepping off my soap box now)

So this mother's day has been a little different for me.  We've spent the weekend with ALL of the kids home-even Big Man on Campus who's on a mini-summer break from college.  So naturally we spent it assembling IKEA furniture and getting all of our rooms and furniture squared away for my little jelly bean to make her arrival.  And rather than compare notes or sit in a church building feeling less than I started thinking about what's the one quality MY mom has that I admire most and would like to be better at.

I've written about my mom before-I'm a big fan of hers-you can read more about her HERE

My mom is a forgiving fool.
Seriously.
She'll forgive even the most difficult of things if she loves you.

What I love about that is what it's done for us as a family.  I've known a few families that have not been able to forgive a loved ones decisions or mistakes and have severed ties or created such tension that it's difficult to live with.  I've watched other families tear each other up just to prove who's right and who's wrong creating painful riffs that last longer than they should.

In our family, family is family.  Period.  We have all made poor choices and fallen off the deep end.  Including me.  In a family of so many girls let me just say we have all pissed each other off, some of us have made life altering bad choices, others of us have judged and pointed fingers at the others (that was my specialty, truth be told), we've fought, we've fallen away from each other, we've made up, we've made messes.  But we know we're in this forever and I really think this goes back to my mom and her ability to forgive.  She taught us by example that when your sister or your loved one, or even you kid screws up it's ok to be angry.  It's ok to be disappointed.  It's ok to have a messy response and throw your own fit.  But it will never be ok to walk away and everyone gets to make a comeback.

What's odd is that I can't remember my mom ever sitting us down and explaining this or teaching us this lesson.  I've just seen it time and time again.  It's sort of amazing to me.  And she's certainly not perfect at it-I'm sure there are situations unresolved for her or things that have been painful to forgive but she does it.  Repeatedly.  Almost with reckless abandon.

I want to be more like that.
I would love to forgive more freely.
Let people have their do-overs a little more gracefully.

So that's how I choose to spend my mother's day energy today, getting ready for the baby and focusing on the part of my mom I would really like to be more like.

Feels really good.

Oh.  And mom?
Thanks for being who you are.
I sure do love you.

(And I think I just inadvertently blog named this baby in this post!  Every kid has a nickname I use here and in life...I think we'll shorten Jelly Bean to just Bean.  Yup.  That works!)

-McGee