Ever look at your life and feel like you're watching a movie?
In my "I'm so important" mind I tend to do that.
But I'm growing tired of the current soundtrack...
It's like somebody hit repeat on "Under Pressure" by Bowie and Queen.
Time for a change.
Here's my new fav...
And yes...I am a Wicked FREAK!
(Seen it in three cities-love it, love it, LOVE IT!)
Defying Gravity
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down.
Can't really hear this song without getting emotional!
Thought I would share.
Curious what your current soundtrack or theme song may be!
-McGee
My thoughts... Based on my own ordinary existance. And sometimes extraordinary experiences.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
in the middle?
We're moving.
This is such a fun process.
In fact, Mr. Man just today remarked about how cheerful I've been.
I was not amused.
But...While I'm busy moving I just wanted to point you to an amazing post by one of my favorite bloggers about being in the middle and moving on through it.
Click this link:
http://themoxyprojectblog.com/2010/07/20/top-5-things-i-learned-on-my-summer-vacation/
Check it out.
Makes all the sense in the world to me right now!
-McGee
This is such a fun process.
In fact, Mr. Man just today remarked about how cheerful I've been.
I was not amused.
But...While I'm busy moving I just wanted to point you to an amazing post by one of my favorite bloggers about being in the middle and moving on through it.
Click this link:
http://themoxyprojectblog.com/2010/07/20/top-5-things-i-learned-on-my-summer-vacation/
Check it out.
Makes all the sense in the world to me right now!
-McGee
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
my heroes.
Hero.
Kind of an unreachable word that assumes perfection.
The amazing being that does it all, gets it all and see's it all.
With ease, grace and without mistake.
I've come to believe they don't exist.
At least not like that.
There are plenty of heroes in my life but none of them are perfect, which makes them human and reachable and someone I can strive to live like rather than Superman or Super Mom. (Although I've always like Wonder Woman a bit more.) So I think it's time to introduce you from time to time to some of my heroes. And since today would have been one of my hero's 50th birthday had she still been on this earth I will start with her.
Deanna Jo.
She was rad.
More like the epitome of the word "rad".
I've heard it often said that if you want to secure a firm place in my heart just love my children and you're golden. My aunt Deanna was the absolute best at that. The earliest pictures of me and Deanna are of me being dressed up like a nun or a cowgirl or just plain silly. My earliest memories of her were being spirited away to play at a park, a dinosaur museum or the ice cream parlor. My favorite memory as a kid though came at the ripe old age of 13. Even then she was already my hero.
On a Friday night I had no plans but felt the need to get out of the house and stretch my 13 year old legs in the real world so I called my aunt to see what she was doing to see if I could tag along. Mind you-she was young, single and had the social calendar of a social butterfly. She told me that she would call me back. An hour later I had made plans to spend the night at a neighbors house when she called to tell me she cancelled her plans to take me roller skating. I tried to let her down easy.
She was like that.
Always.
So as an adult with my own children you can imagine what it did for me to look back and see what she had done. At one point in my life I was struggling with work, family, life and Deanna literally showed up at my door (we lived 2 hours apart) and announced that she would be taking my kids for the next three days while I tended to my life.
No advance warning.
No plan.
Just Deanna, the kids and good fun.
And she did just that. She took them to the zoo, the Jelly Belly Factory, played around and was just plain silly. I saw them late at night to tuck them in and by morning they were off on their next adventure. They felt like they were the most important people on the planet.
It was really the most amazing thing to experience from both sides of the coin. She had a way to make any child feel like they were the most important person.
But she was imperfect.
She had plenty of flaws, just like me.
And that makes her my hero.
Deanna left this world far too early. It was devastating and tragic and not fair. However. I choose to remember her as one of my heroes for the love she put into the world and honor her by doing what I can to be more like her best self. She loved me fiercely as a child and loved my children in a way that made me love her fiercely back.
It is true.
Love my child, I will love you.
Deanna showed me that in no uncertain terms.
And I love her for that!
I'm sure I will share more heroes with you here about from time to time...but I can't think of a better one to start with.
Happy Birthday Aunt Banana's!
I miss you.
-McGee
Kind of an unreachable word that assumes perfection.
The amazing being that does it all, gets it all and see's it all.
With ease, grace and without mistake.
I've come to believe they don't exist.
At least not like that.
There are plenty of heroes in my life but none of them are perfect, which makes them human and reachable and someone I can strive to live like rather than Superman or Super Mom. (Although I've always like Wonder Woman a bit more.) So I think it's time to introduce you from time to time to some of my heroes. And since today would have been one of my hero's 50th birthday had she still been on this earth I will start with her.
Deanna Jo.
She was rad.
More like the epitome of the word "rad".
I've heard it often said that if you want to secure a firm place in my heart just love my children and you're golden. My aunt Deanna was the absolute best at that. The earliest pictures of me and Deanna are of me being dressed up like a nun or a cowgirl or just plain silly. My earliest memories of her were being spirited away to play at a park, a dinosaur museum or the ice cream parlor. My favorite memory as a kid though came at the ripe old age of 13. Even then she was already my hero.
On a Friday night I had no plans but felt the need to get out of the house and stretch my 13 year old legs in the real world so I called my aunt to see what she was doing to see if I could tag along. Mind you-she was young, single and had the social calendar of a social butterfly. She told me that she would call me back. An hour later I had made plans to spend the night at a neighbors house when she called to tell me she cancelled her plans to take me roller skating. I tried to let her down easy.
She was like that.
Always.
So as an adult with my own children you can imagine what it did for me to look back and see what she had done. At one point in my life I was struggling with work, family, life and Deanna literally showed up at my door (we lived 2 hours apart) and announced that she would be taking my kids for the next three days while I tended to my life.
No advance warning.
No plan.
Just Deanna, the kids and good fun.
And she did just that. She took them to the zoo, the Jelly Belly Factory, played around and was just plain silly. I saw them late at night to tuck them in and by morning they were off on their next adventure. They felt like they were the most important people on the planet.
It was really the most amazing thing to experience from both sides of the coin. She had a way to make any child feel like they were the most important person.
But she was imperfect.
She had plenty of flaws, just like me.
And that makes her my hero.
Deanna left this world far too early. It was devastating and tragic and not fair. However. I choose to remember her as one of my heroes for the love she put into the world and honor her by doing what I can to be more like her best self. She loved me fiercely as a child and loved my children in a way that made me love her fiercely back.
It is true.
Love my child, I will love you.
Deanna showed me that in no uncertain terms.
And I love her for that!
I'm sure I will share more heroes with you here about from time to time...but I can't think of a better one to start with.
Happy Birthday Aunt Banana's!
I miss you.
-McGee
Sunday, July 11, 2010
letting go.
So I’m working on this project.
Project Me.
I’ve tried working on Project Everyone Else.
It didn’t really work.
See-I had a moment where I was bitterly complaining about the universe to Mr. Man-our rental house is being sold, my car needs replacing within 2 months and everything else was in chaos (at least that’s what the committee meeting in my head was telling me-more about that in another post to come). I told him I felt like a bad country western song. Ever the funny guy, Mr. Man suggested then that I play the song backwards.
Haha.
I responded, ever so forcefully with…
“NO. Maybe y’all need to play the song backwards-it’s not ME!”
(Yeah. I did actually say y’all. Had to totally commit to the theme.)
And back to therapy I go.
Because the only thing I control is me which makes the only person worth micromanaging and working on is…you guessed it…ME.
And here’s where Project Me is taking me. Maybe you can relate? I am in the process of learning to let go of the outcome. I realized I was not making decisions because I was so focused on the final life changing uber important outcome that I could never decide on even the most basic parts of the process. My anxiety about a particular decision was killing any sort of progress and literally freezing me in place.
My therapist had me make three lists:
1. If option A happened, how would I proceed to make decisions?
2. If option B happened, how would I proceed to make decisions?
3. If I let go of the outcome, how would I proceed to make decisions?
Understand that I am a serious planner. I make lists and I make plans. I don’t do well letting go or letting the universe take it’s course. I used to think I controlled the universe. I’m working on that too. So after I made the first two lists my therapist had me take off my glasses, put my two feet on the ground, breathe deeply and then write whatever came to mind for the third list.
The one list that seemed the most daunting, the most impossible to embrace, the most out of reach also felt the best. I was able to write out what I would do and how that would look and it looked good. And felt good! And I could breath.
So I let go.
Or am trying to.
I’m doing all I can and letting God and the universe take me where I’m supposed to go. It hasn’t been easy and I haven’t been great at it for more than an hour or two at a time but I do know it feels better when I do it. As a result I’ve had the best weekend with our family I’ve had in months and the best conversations with Mr. Man that don’t include the term “y’all” or any reference to country western music-much to his relief! I’m enjoying the process and letting good things in that I wouldn’t see if I were just focused on the final outcome.
I’m sure you’ll hear more about Project Me.
It’s going to be quite a ride!
-McGee
Project Me.
I’ve tried working on Project Everyone Else.
It didn’t really work.
See-I had a moment where I was bitterly complaining about the universe to Mr. Man-our rental house is being sold, my car needs replacing within 2 months and everything else was in chaos (at least that’s what the committee meeting in my head was telling me-more about that in another post to come). I told him I felt like a bad country western song. Ever the funny guy, Mr. Man suggested then that I play the song backwards.
Haha.
I responded, ever so forcefully with…
“NO. Maybe y’all need to play the song backwards-it’s not ME!”
(Yeah. I did actually say y’all. Had to totally commit to the theme.)
And back to therapy I go.
Because the only thing I control is me which makes the only person worth micromanaging and working on is…you guessed it…ME.
And here’s where Project Me is taking me. Maybe you can relate? I am in the process of learning to let go of the outcome. I realized I was not making decisions because I was so focused on the final life changing uber important outcome that I could never decide on even the most basic parts of the process. My anxiety about a particular decision was killing any sort of progress and literally freezing me in place.
My therapist had me make three lists:
1. If option A happened, how would I proceed to make decisions?
2. If option B happened, how would I proceed to make decisions?
3. If I let go of the outcome, how would I proceed to make decisions?
Understand that I am a serious planner. I make lists and I make plans. I don’t do well letting go or letting the universe take it’s course. I used to think I controlled the universe. I’m working on that too. So after I made the first two lists my therapist had me take off my glasses, put my two feet on the ground, breathe deeply and then write whatever came to mind for the third list.
The one list that seemed the most daunting, the most impossible to embrace, the most out of reach also felt the best. I was able to write out what I would do and how that would look and it looked good. And felt good! And I could breath.
So I let go.
Or am trying to.
I’m doing all I can and letting God and the universe take me where I’m supposed to go. It hasn’t been easy and I haven’t been great at it for more than an hour or two at a time but I do know it feels better when I do it. As a result I’ve had the best weekend with our family I’ve had in months and the best conversations with Mr. Man that don’t include the term “y’all” or any reference to country western music-much to his relief! I’m enjoying the process and letting good things in that I wouldn’t see if I were just focused on the final outcome.
I’m sure you’ll hear more about Project Me.
It’s going to be quite a ride!
-McGee
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