Standing in the doorway to the bathroom Little Man whispers trying hard to get my attention...
"Mom."
"Moooooom"
"Hey mom-I think I need to go see my doctor."
Why buddy?
"I "go" every night and every morning and sometimes too often."
What are you talking about Little Man?
"It was on a commercial today-it said I should see a doctor if I go too much or too often. And I have to go every day. A lot."
See what I mean?
He is a riot!
-McGee
My thoughts... Based on my own ordinary existance. And sometimes extraordinary experiences.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
The start of little MANnerisms
I was asked recently if I write down funny things my kids say.
Keep in mind the oldest kid I've raised is about to graduate from high school-Let's just call him BMOC (Big Man on Campus) he's funny-but too cool to really say silly things these days.
Mini-McGee is always cracking me up.
Mostly because she's a teenager now.
Little Miss is a clever smart ass.
Don't really know where that came from.
But Little Man.
He is a riot.
Not on purpose, mind you, but a riot none the less.
And then there's Soapy D-or The D-those are her gansta names. She's Little Man's biggest fan and the two of them together are awesome.
August 15, 2012 edited to add The Bean! She's out little jelly bean, the baby of the family and everyone's favorite sibling. Can't wait to see what she has to say!
So I started writing them down and I think I'll call them...
LITTLE MANerisms.
Since most of them start or end with Little Man.
They'll pop up every once in awhile.
See the first one in the post below.
Enjoy!
-McGee
Keep in mind the oldest kid I've raised is about to graduate from high school-Let's just call him BMOC (Big Man on Campus) he's funny-but too cool to really say silly things these days.
Mini-McGee is always cracking me up.
Mostly because she's a teenager now.
Little Miss is a clever smart ass.
Don't really know where that came from.
But Little Man.
He is a riot.
Not on purpose, mind you, but a riot none the less.
And then there's Soapy D-or The D-those are her gansta names. She's Little Man's biggest fan and the two of them together are awesome.
August 15, 2012 edited to add The Bean! She's out little jelly bean, the baby of the family and everyone's favorite sibling. Can't wait to see what she has to say!
So I started writing them down and I think I'll call them...
LITTLE MANerisms.
Since most of them start or end with Little Man.
They'll pop up every once in awhile.
See the first one in the post below.
Enjoy!
-McGee
Thursday, March 25, 2010
you're kidding. right?
6:41am Yesterday
Knock on the bedroom door. Groggily open it ready to be upset with my 5 year old for waking me 20 minutes before my alarm goes off only to find my 11 year old, who has been fighting with her little brother about how he needs to get ready right away. We have an HOUR before we leave for school. He takes about 15 MINUTES to get ready.
Should have called in sick to life.
10:00am
Annual pap smear.
Doctor is running late.
Lovely exam, always a good time.
And let’s throw a tetanus shot in there to sweeten the deal.
10:42am
Ran home to grab my work cell phone that I left charging. Checked my bank account online to transfer some cash and there is a zero balance.
ZERO.
In all four accounts.
Day before there was a SIGNIFICANT amount more than that!
Must be a system error. Call the bank. Mr. Customer Service puts me on hold to figure it out. When he comes back on the line he says “Found the golden ticket-I know where your money went. I’ll transfer you to legal. The IRS took it.”
Yup-should not have gotten out of bed today. Knew it.
10:53am
The room stops spinning and I get on the phone with the beloved IRS. Apparently, there’s an old tax bill that, lets just say is not my responsibility but has my SSN associated with it. And the IRS? They do not like being ignored. And the other party responsible? He was in “ignoring the problem" mode.
IRS wants their money.
So they took it.
Every last cent I had.
11:00am
Call in mentally ill for work.
3:29pm
Finally get all the paperwork necessary for the IRS to release what I know now is called a levy on my bank accounts. Should have access to my money again-all of it-by Monday. They are the IRS so SHOULD is the operative word here. Mr. Stork of the Detroit branch of the Internal Revenue System-thank you-you are wonderful-even if your sense of humor was a little off.
5:15pm
Time for a bikini wax. And way overdue. Because at this point-my life today already sucks, might as well inflict as much pain as I can so that tomorrow can be a better day!
5:21pm
HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS!
7:30pm
It’s just the start of my darling daughter, Mini McGee’s, softball game. Coldest I’ve ever been at a softball game. My butt is frozen solid by the time we leave at 9:30pm with three tired kids and a headache.
Should have called in sick to life. I know.
But Thursday will be a better day.
7:55am Today
Little Man is not feeling well on the way to school.
Really not feeling well.
I don’t believe him.
So he throws up all over my car to prove his point.
Sigh.
I give up.
At least for today.
Moral to the story?
Just do the next necessary thing.
And laugh at yourself.
Twice a day, or as needed.
-McGee
Knock on the bedroom door. Groggily open it ready to be upset with my 5 year old for waking me 20 minutes before my alarm goes off only to find my 11 year old, who has been fighting with her little brother about how he needs to get ready right away. We have an HOUR before we leave for school. He takes about 15 MINUTES to get ready.
Should have called in sick to life.
10:00am
Annual pap smear.
Doctor is running late.
Lovely exam, always a good time.
And let’s throw a tetanus shot in there to sweeten the deal.
10:42am
Ran home to grab my work cell phone that I left charging. Checked my bank account online to transfer some cash and there is a zero balance.
ZERO.
In all four accounts.
Day before there was a SIGNIFICANT amount more than that!
Must be a system error. Call the bank. Mr. Customer Service puts me on hold to figure it out. When he comes back on the line he says “Found the golden ticket-I know where your money went. I’ll transfer you to legal. The IRS took it.”
Yup-should not have gotten out of bed today. Knew it.
10:53am
The room stops spinning and I get on the phone with the beloved IRS. Apparently, there’s an old tax bill that, lets just say is not my responsibility but has my SSN associated with it. And the IRS? They do not like being ignored. And the other party responsible? He was in “ignoring the problem" mode.
IRS wants their money.
So they took it.
Every last cent I had.
11:00am
Call in mentally ill for work.
3:29pm
Finally get all the paperwork necessary for the IRS to release what I know now is called a levy on my bank accounts. Should have access to my money again-all of it-by Monday. They are the IRS so SHOULD is the operative word here. Mr. Stork of the Detroit branch of the Internal Revenue System-thank you-you are wonderful-even if your sense of humor was a little off.
5:15pm
Time for a bikini wax. And way overdue. Because at this point-my life today already sucks, might as well inflict as much pain as I can so that tomorrow can be a better day!
5:21pm
HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS!
7:30pm
It’s just the start of my darling daughter, Mini McGee’s, softball game. Coldest I’ve ever been at a softball game. My butt is frozen solid by the time we leave at 9:30pm with three tired kids and a headache.
Should have called in sick to life. I know.
But Thursday will be a better day.
7:55am Today
Little Man is not feeling well on the way to school.
Really not feeling well.
I don’t believe him.
So he throws up all over my car to prove his point.
Sigh.
I give up.
At least for today.
Moral to the story?
Just do the next necessary thing.
And laugh at yourself.
Twice a day, or as needed.
-McGee
Monday, March 22, 2010
insides to outsides
I do this thing.
And I did it again Friday night.
I put on the inside outside glasses.
I’ve done it repeatedly over the years.
I’m not sure where I got my pair.
Although I'm sure they're designer.
I am often without them.
But when I put them on…yikes.
I had the most amazing weekend-I participated in a workshop with ten other women and a really sharp life coach, Michele*. The first person I met was a beautiful tall blonde with a killer smile. I immediately thought…sigh…I wish I had jeans that looked like that on me. Or rather I wish I had the body to fill those jeans that way!
(Gimme a break. I’m a girl. It’s what we do.)
And as I met the other women I had similar first impressions…
That girl really has it together.
I’m in a rut lately.
She seems like she’s really incredible.
I wonder what she thinks of me.
I wish I could be like her.
I’m not living up to my dreams.
She’s amazing.
It’s not really a jealousy thing.
It’s just those dang inside outside glasses.
See-here’s the thing-I’m really good at comparing my INSIDES with your OUTSIDES.
What I found in this room by the end of the workshop was that yes, their outsides were great, so were their insides, but they had the same kind of things going on in their insides as I did! They weren’t perfectly together or amazingly perfected. (Sorry girls if any of you are reading this and I just burst your bubble. I think we’re all humble enough for that one!) They were a dozen women with unique beautiful souls who were all on a path in life navigating twists and turns just like I was.
I was on the other end of this recently too! I had a newer friend-one who didn’t know me so well yet, tell me she was surprised to hear I was going through a rough patch-she assumed I always had perfect 10 kind of days.
Which is hilarious.
My life is good but it is in no way a perfect 10!
My life is as messy as a preschooler eating spaghetti
who then wipes her mouth on the shoulder of her shirt.
But back to my glasses…
I think when life gets hairy I get a little nervous about myself. I get a bout of insecurity and I put these glasses on and tend to hold on to the desire to be like what I perceive “that girl” is rather than recognize myself and value my own experiences while giving “that girl” the grace she deserves for her imperfections too!
I realized…
when I compare my insides to others’ outsides,
I will always come up short.
So I’m taking the glasses off.
And I’m putting them away.
And until someone figures out emotional x-ray glasses I’ll just stop comparing and start appreciating the people I encounter for who they are.
Including me.
*oh-and this Michele chick. She is amazing! Her workshop was fantastic and insightful and you can find more about her at http://www.themoxyproject.com/. Great blog there too!
McGee
And I did it again Friday night.
I put on the inside outside glasses.
I’ve done it repeatedly over the years.
I’m not sure where I got my pair.
Although I'm sure they're designer.
I am often without them.
But when I put them on…yikes.
I had the most amazing weekend-I participated in a workshop with ten other women and a really sharp life coach, Michele*. The first person I met was a beautiful tall blonde with a killer smile. I immediately thought…sigh…I wish I had jeans that looked like that on me. Or rather I wish I had the body to fill those jeans that way!
(Gimme a break. I’m a girl. It’s what we do.)
And as I met the other women I had similar first impressions…
That girl really has it together.
I’m in a rut lately.
She seems like she’s really incredible.
I wonder what she thinks of me.
I wish I could be like her.
I’m not living up to my dreams.
She’s amazing.
It’s not really a jealousy thing.
It’s just those dang inside outside glasses.
See-here’s the thing-I’m really good at comparing my INSIDES with your OUTSIDES.
What I found in this room by the end of the workshop was that yes, their outsides were great, so were their insides, but they had the same kind of things going on in their insides as I did! They weren’t perfectly together or amazingly perfected. (Sorry girls if any of you are reading this and I just burst your bubble. I think we’re all humble enough for that one!) They were a dozen women with unique beautiful souls who were all on a path in life navigating twists and turns just like I was.
I was on the other end of this recently too! I had a newer friend-one who didn’t know me so well yet, tell me she was surprised to hear I was going through a rough patch-she assumed I always had perfect 10 kind of days.
Which is hilarious.
My life is good but it is in no way a perfect 10!
My life is as messy as a preschooler eating spaghetti
who then wipes her mouth on the shoulder of her shirt.
But back to my glasses…
I think when life gets hairy I get a little nervous about myself. I get a bout of insecurity and I put these glasses on and tend to hold on to the desire to be like what I perceive “that girl” is rather than recognize myself and value my own experiences while giving “that girl” the grace she deserves for her imperfections too!
I realized…
when I compare my insides to others’ outsides,
I will always come up short.
So I’m taking the glasses off.
And I’m putting them away.
And until someone figures out emotional x-ray glasses I’ll just stop comparing and start appreciating the people I encounter for who they are.
Including me.
*oh-and this Michele chick. She is amazing! Her workshop was fantastic and insightful and you can find more about her at http://www.themoxyproject.com/. Great blog there too!
McGee
Friday, March 19, 2010
oxygen masks
“Though we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure, if one occurs, oxygen masks will fall from the compartment up above. If you are traveling with a child, place the mask over yourself first, and then the child. If you are traveling with more than one child, decide which one has the most promising future and place the mask over that child first…”
Ok.
So that’s only Southwest Airlines’ version.
But you know what I’m talking about.
Ever really think about it?
Think about why you need to take even just a split second to get your mask first and THEN help those around you who need help?
It’s such an odd thing to think I would be in an emergency situation and look at my kids and NOT help them first. But regardless of how the trauma of cabin air pressure loss looked on the TV show Lost, the actual reality is without oxygen we get sleepy and then we cease to function. And if that’s the case, how much help am I to my babies? I’ve helped them breathe but odds are good in that situation…they’ll need me a bit longer than that!
And then…one day…I’m not sure when…probably in the midst of a very deep moment or perhaps I heard someone else say it…I started thinking about this on a different plane.
(pun totally intended)
I am often so focused on someone else and their needs or emergency that I willingly neglect my basic need for oxygen. And then I find myself tired, irritable, frustrated…and the truth is…I chose that! What was I thinking?
I have tried to figure this out.
This compulsion to help other people first at all costs.
For awhile now.
Is it nature or nurture?
Common trait for women raised Mormon?
Oldest Child Syndrome?
Or is it just plain human nature to want to help someone out without regard to our own plight?
That’s actually what I prefer to believe.
Mostly because when I need help I believe in humanity.
And so far…it’s pulled through.
I do think though, that the airlines have it right.
With the exception of Southwest.
(They are funny.
But they did boot my homeboy Kevin Smith.
AND I don’t want to choose a favorite kid to survive.)
I am so much more help and more useful to others around me when I take a minute to put on my own mask. Without it, I deplete my resources in a way that can even be detrimental to my loved ones. Truth is…I need that oxygen.
I need to go to the gym.
Take a walk.
Tan.
(What? I like to be brown and it makes me happy.)
I need to write in my journal.
Go to church.
And occasionally sit on the beach and just breathe.
Alone.
I feel guilty sometimes, as though taking time for myself is unacceptable, but when I look at my friends and their lives, I constantly tell them to take care of themselves first.
So I think I will take my own advice!
I’m taking 48 hours to take care of me.
And I think…
Just maybe…
I’ll enjoy it!
-McGee
Ok.
So that’s only Southwest Airlines’ version.
But you know what I’m talking about.
Ever really think about it?
Think about why you need to take even just a split second to get your mask first and THEN help those around you who need help?
It’s such an odd thing to think I would be in an emergency situation and look at my kids and NOT help them first. But regardless of how the trauma of cabin air pressure loss looked on the TV show Lost, the actual reality is without oxygen we get sleepy and then we cease to function. And if that’s the case, how much help am I to my babies? I’ve helped them breathe but odds are good in that situation…they’ll need me a bit longer than that!
And then…one day…I’m not sure when…probably in the midst of a very deep moment or perhaps I heard someone else say it…I started thinking about this on a different plane.
(pun totally intended)
I am often so focused on someone else and their needs or emergency that I willingly neglect my basic need for oxygen. And then I find myself tired, irritable, frustrated…and the truth is…I chose that! What was I thinking?
I have tried to figure this out.
This compulsion to help other people first at all costs.
For awhile now.
Is it nature or nurture?
Common trait for women raised Mormon?
Oldest Child Syndrome?
Or is it just plain human nature to want to help someone out without regard to our own plight?
That’s actually what I prefer to believe.
Mostly because when I need help I believe in humanity.
And so far…it’s pulled through.
I do think though, that the airlines have it right.
With the exception of Southwest.
(They are funny.
But they did boot my homeboy Kevin Smith.
AND I don’t want to choose a favorite kid to survive.)
I am so much more help and more useful to others around me when I take a minute to put on my own mask. Without it, I deplete my resources in a way that can even be detrimental to my loved ones. Truth is…I need that oxygen.
I need to go to the gym.
Take a walk.
Tan.
(What? I like to be brown and it makes me happy.)
I need to write in my journal.
Go to church.
And occasionally sit on the beach and just breathe.
Alone.
I feel guilty sometimes, as though taking time for myself is unacceptable, but when I look at my friends and their lives, I constantly tell them to take care of themselves first.
So I think I will take my own advice!
I’m taking 48 hours to take care of me.
And I think…
Just maybe…
I’ll enjoy it!
-McGee
Monday, March 15, 2010
on purpose.
(Little Man, age 5, whacks Little Miss, age 11, upside the head while she’s not looking. Little Miss screams.)
McGee: HEY! What are you DOING?
Little Miss: He HIT me. I wasn’t doing ANYTHING!
Little Man: It was an accident. I didn’t do it on purpose!
Famous last words. I love my 5 year old boy dearly but if he tells me one more time that he didn’t do something “on purpose"...just one more time…I might have to pop his behind.
On purpose.
I knew this guy once.
A great family friend, Dirk.
He knew me at a particularly messy time in my life.
(Which, just by the way, Dirk, if you’re reading this…life’s good!)
Among other ways he influenced my life he was my baby sisters’ Sunday School teacher and that year he focused on living life “on purpose.” That was his motto. He was actively trying to live his life on purpose, not letting things just happen but really focusing on the choices he was making and taking things as they came head on. I remember thinking that was cool and then kind of tucking it in the back of my head.
And then life happened.
As it usually does.
Ups, Downs, Loopty Loops.
And then one day, in the far too recent past, I flipped out.
I won’t sugar coat it.
But I have an ego too so I won’t elaborate either!
I was upset, hurt, sad, and angry.
And I lost it.
Have you ever had that moment?
The one where you feel like you’re on a speeding train-
And you need to get off?
You need to stop immediately-
But you keep going?
You can’t shut up.
You can’t stop.
Don’t lie. I know I’m not alone in this!
So I had the moment, or rather the many unpretty, unpleasant moments strung together over the course of 24 hours. And I felt like a victim-even though I knew I was out of line and out of control. And totally random-I saw Dirk’s name somewhere (ok-I saw it on Facebook-I can’t help myself) and I had an Ah-ha moment. I was living my life like Little Man. I was hitting my loved one upside the head and then sitting in my pity party telling myself that I didn’t do it on purpose. And poor, poor me.
I should have just popped myself one on the backside!
In all seriousness I realized I was letting life happen and letting myself just go all over the place rather than conduct my life and my reactions “on purpose.” Something needs to change. It’s not like my life needs reinventing-quite the opposite-I have many of the components I’ve always wanted in life! I just need to be a bit more of an active participant and navigator!
So this is what I’m doing on purpose…
I’ve decided I deserve to pay more attention to my body and well being-no more cheating myself by cutting corners-time to be on purpose with my health.
I’m also going WAY out of my comfort zone this weekend and participating in a rather small, intimate mini-conference about getting what I want out of life with a new friend and many to be made when I get there. On purpose.
What would you do if you decided to live more “on purpose?”
What does that look like for you?
I’m hoping it feels like freedom to me.
Thanks Dirk-I think it finally sunk in!
-McGee
McGee: HEY! What are you DOING?
Little Miss: He HIT me. I wasn’t doing ANYTHING!
Little Man: It was an accident. I didn’t do it on purpose!
Famous last words. I love my 5 year old boy dearly but if he tells me one more time that he didn’t do something “on purpose"...just one more time…I might have to pop his behind.
On purpose.
I knew this guy once.
A great family friend, Dirk.
He knew me at a particularly messy time in my life.
(Which, just by the way, Dirk, if you’re reading this…life’s good!)
Among other ways he influenced my life he was my baby sisters’ Sunday School teacher and that year he focused on living life “on purpose.” That was his motto. He was actively trying to live his life on purpose, not letting things just happen but really focusing on the choices he was making and taking things as they came head on. I remember thinking that was cool and then kind of tucking it in the back of my head.
And then life happened.
As it usually does.
Ups, Downs, Loopty Loops.
And then one day, in the far too recent past, I flipped out.
I won’t sugar coat it.
But I have an ego too so I won’t elaborate either!
I was upset, hurt, sad, and angry.
And I lost it.
Have you ever had that moment?
The one where you feel like you’re on a speeding train-
And you need to get off?
You need to stop immediately-
But you keep going?
You can’t shut up.
You can’t stop.
Don’t lie. I know I’m not alone in this!
So I had the moment, or rather the many unpretty, unpleasant moments strung together over the course of 24 hours. And I felt like a victim-even though I knew I was out of line and out of control. And totally random-I saw Dirk’s name somewhere (ok-I saw it on Facebook-I can’t help myself) and I had an Ah-ha moment. I was living my life like Little Man. I was hitting my loved one upside the head and then sitting in my pity party telling myself that I didn’t do it on purpose. And poor, poor me.
I should have just popped myself one on the backside!
In all seriousness I realized I was letting life happen and letting myself just go all over the place rather than conduct my life and my reactions “on purpose.” Something needs to change. It’s not like my life needs reinventing-quite the opposite-I have many of the components I’ve always wanted in life! I just need to be a bit more of an active participant and navigator!
So this is what I’m doing on purpose…
I’ve decided I deserve to pay more attention to my body and well being-no more cheating myself by cutting corners-time to be on purpose with my health.
I’m also going WAY out of my comfort zone this weekend and participating in a rather small, intimate mini-conference about getting what I want out of life with a new friend and many to be made when I get there. On purpose.
What would you do if you decided to live more “on purpose?”
What does that look like for you?
I’m hoping it feels like freedom to me.
Thanks Dirk-I think it finally sunk in!
-McGee
Friday, March 5, 2010
postscript to only in LA...
Remember Blockbuster Bob*?
See: only in LA
Mr. Man and I were perusing the racks at Blockbuster tonight anxious to find something new to spend our Friday night enjoying when I hear a rather enthusiastic voice from behind me…
“Hey guys!”
It’s Blockbuster Bob. Who, by the way, is quite a nice guy. And not in a creepy “why are you working at a video store is there something wrong with you" nice kinda way. Genuinely a cool dude working a gig to pay the bills.
He looks around carefully to make sure the coast is clear and says quietly…
“Hey-I can get you guys something not out yet-how about “(new movie that isn't released until next week)” maybe?”
And I can’t turn him down.
Even if we don’t particularly want to see that one tonight.
I mean-look.
Now we have an IN!
So he’s walking us up to the counter and I tell him about how famous I thought he was at the concert-I like to think he’s laughing with me-not at me. He goes behind the desk and whispers in the ear of the guy working the register while we wait in line. Register dude looks at him and then us and says “Really?”
And as Blockbuster Bob walks out the door he says…
“Hey-it’s all about who you know!”
And with a wink and a grin he's gone home for the night.
And Mr. Man and I?
We giggle.
In line.
At Blockbuster.
‘Cause now we are part of the inner circle.
We're part of the cool kids club.
Gotta love my town!
*name has been changed to protect my new IN at the mighty Blockbuster chain. Hey-I don’t want the whole world to get in on my deal. What?
McGee
See: only in LA
Mr. Man and I were perusing the racks at Blockbuster tonight anxious to find something new to spend our Friday night enjoying when I hear a rather enthusiastic voice from behind me…
“Hey guys!”
It’s Blockbuster Bob. Who, by the way, is quite a nice guy. And not in a creepy “why are you working at a video store is there something wrong with you" nice kinda way. Genuinely a cool dude working a gig to pay the bills.
He looks around carefully to make sure the coast is clear and says quietly…
“Hey-I can get you guys something not out yet-how about “(new movie that isn't released until next week)” maybe?”
And I can’t turn him down.
Even if we don’t particularly want to see that one tonight.
I mean-look.
Now we have an IN!
So he’s walking us up to the counter and I tell him about how famous I thought he was at the concert-I like to think he’s laughing with me-not at me. He goes behind the desk and whispers in the ear of the guy working the register while we wait in line. Register dude looks at him and then us and says “Really?”
And as Blockbuster Bob walks out the door he says…
“Hey-it’s all about who you know!”
And with a wink and a grin he's gone home for the night.
And Mr. Man and I?
We giggle.
In line.
At Blockbuster.
‘Cause now we are part of the inner circle.
We're part of the cool kids club.
Gotta love my town!
*name has been changed to protect my new IN at the mighty Blockbuster chain. Hey-I don’t want the whole world to get in on my deal. What?
McGee
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