#7 AND #9

#7 Paddle board.

#9 Take a yoga class.

Or...do them both at the same time-paddle board yoga!

The company and the scenery were just the icing on the cake.

#5

#5 Hike in red mountains.

My sisters, my mom and I spent a long weekend at the Red Mountain Resort in St. George, Utah. 

We quite literally hiked every day in red mountains. 

It was insanely beautiful and not a picture we took would do it justice. 

I. Am. Batman.

This is maybe one of the most proud relationship related photos I have. This is my oldest, his mother, and me-the bonus mom. BMOC (Big Man on Campus-admittedly his McGee name may need work) was only 3 ½ when he came into my world and he hasn’t left it since. Early on his mom and I figured out how to become good friends united by a love for this guy and with his best interests always at heart. I realize it’s not always this way but for us and all of our collective children it was the best way-I highly recommend it!

So when BMOC called with information for his graduation from Texas A&M in December (Could I be any prouder??) I was thrilled, my next call was to his mom to chat about details, compare notes about what to wear, made arrangements and we were set!

While I was packing for my trip I realized there were some family dynamics at play that could prove challenging with extended family members, bless their hearts. I’m finding these days that there is often a jockeying affect with family members, in particular in those families that are different from the traditional two parent household where it’s a competition to be the important one in the room or to mark ones territory.

Ever grateful for my relationship with BMOC’s mom we chatted about it, had a good chuckle at the similar feelings we both had around the situation and figured to hell with anyone who thought otherwise-this is his day and it will be an amazing one!

The night before my flight I read that when news of Ben Affleck playing Batman broke Michael Keaton was asked if he was envious of Affleck. His response was like someone took my snow globe, turned it upside down and the snow shifted in a new way never to be the same. He replied:

“No. Do you know why? Because I’m Batman. I’m very secure in that.”

It hit me with so hard I chuckled out loud.

I am Batman.

There is no one who can take away who I am.

Nothing changes the relationship I have with BMOC.

Or with his mom.
And for me, that changes the way I see everything.

As I drove down to College Station from the airport-it was a long Texas travel day-I was also struck that the reason this works, the reason our son enjoys both his mom and his bonus mom, and has grown into the man he is was because SHE was Batman. His mom has always known who she was to her son and that there was no one, no bonus mom, no time away while he lived in my home, nothing that could take that away. It was because of who SHE knew SHE was that allowed me to be a bonus in his life. And because of that he has two soft landing places when things get tough or he wants to come home.

So when he graduated and someone said-grab the mom's for a picture-when his mom laughed and said "Are you ready?" I knew what she was looking for and we both planted some mom love squarely on his cheeks!

Over the past six months this has proved to be the most all encompassing concept in my repertoire, my annual motto of sorts-I am Batman. There is nothing you can say or do, no opinion you have of me, no situation that can be thrown at me that will ever take away who I am. I am very secure in that.  And there is no opinion I have of you that will take away who you are. It’s pretty simple. There is a great deal of peace and power in knowing who you are and an even greater abundance of love when you can accept yourself and allow others to be who they are in the space they are in.

And just for the record…Michael Keaton was always my Batman.

40 by 40...McGee Style

Ok.
It's true.
I'm entering my 40th year.

It seems like a cliche reasonable time to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going and in my obsessive online searches research I've come across the idea of a 40 things to do before I turn 40 list.

Now, there aren't all earth shattering, high dollar, big deal things but they are all moments I would like to have over the next 365 days. And as I go I'll update and highlight the fun stuff!

My 40 by 40

1. Enjoy a drink with a sphere ice cube.
2. Learn to surf.
3. Camp at the beach.
4. Get to my lifetime goal weight.
5. Take a hike in red mountains.
6. Run a 5k.
7. Paddle board.
8. Take a family road trip.
9. Take a yoga class.
10. Road trip with Mr Man.
11. Visit a museum.
12. Get my substitute teacher credential.
13. Outline my first book.
14. Post 20 blogs.
15. Have a Disneyland date with Mr. Man.
16. Make something.
17. Laugh with my mom.
18. Watch a movie outside.
19. Donate blood.
20. Give $20 to someone who needs it more than me.
21. Spend 24 hours alone.
22. Treat myself to a facial.
23. Send a card in the mail just because.
24. Spend time with dad.
25. Let it go-that thing that gives you anxiety. You know the one.
26. Have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in more than a year.
27. Submit an article for publication.
28. Ride a bike.
29. Run the two mile route.
30. Bake a strawberry rhubarb pie.
31. Go to a Bingo night.
32. Shoot a gun.
33. Get dressed up for a night out on the town, dinner and a show.
34. Throw a party.
35. Send out Christmas cards.
36. Decorate something at home using one of the pins on my Pinterest board.
37. Play a piano. It’s been too long.
38. Spend a day with my camera out. Not my iPhone camera. THE camera.
39. Read a really great book. 
40. Dare I say get a tattoo? Or at least decide on the tattoo.

I'll be making some changes around here and updating the look a bit, adding a section for my 40 by 40 and just generally getting all crafty on you so keep coming back...It's going to be a great year!

Are you still there?

Hey.

You.

You're still there?

I've got big things brewing this year.

I know I've neglected you.

But.

It's my 40th year.

It's going to be a bang.

Keep coming back...I'll be getting back to my McGee roots and finding some wings!

-McGee

walking.

It's an oddly unusual position I'm in.
I have one child who just learned to walk
And one readying herself to walk out into the world.

Several times in life I've thought "It will get easier when..."
Or "Life will be less busy when..."
"Surely things will settle down when..."
But I'm beginning to rethink this.

There is a different type of busy I've experienced at every point in my seventeen years of parenting.  At 20 I had a very active although super sweet step-son for the summer with a newborn baby-I was overwhelmed busy.  When I had a toddler and a baby it was physically busy but I could repeat every Teletubby episode verbatim.  I had a sweet baby boy in the midst of opening a new business and saying goodbye to my grandmother which created a different whirlwind busy.  When I was stressing about one girl starting high school the same year her brother started college, one in middle school, one in elementary, another in pre-K and a baby on the way it was a very panicked "Am I equipped to stretch this way?" type of busy.

And now I find myself here.

The Bean is a walking, talking little toddler who is finding her way in the great big world also known as our house and Mini-McGee is finding her way our into the world at large readying herself for college and beyond.  On any given day I can be cheering at a Varsity basketball game, coaching 6 and 7 year old softball, working on a science project for 4th grade or shopping for teething medication.

It's a mind trip.
A roller coaster ride.
But one I wouldn't trade for the world.

It takes a lot of work to pay the proper amount of attention to each of the five kids under our roof and frankly I'm not always great at it.  I'm not perfect but my priority in life is to be the best mom I can be.  Right now, given the kids we have and the way things run in our house, I'll say I'm feeling pretty good about the job we're doing as parents.

But like with anyone...
Late at night...
I wonder...
I pray...
And I dream about who they are and who they will be.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up with the Bean, change her diaper, make lunches for the elementary crew and see the teenagers off to the high school.

Set up a college tour, arrange for a second knee surgery for the other teen.  Make an 18 month appointment for the baby and play basketball with the boy while waiting for the 6 year old to come home.

It's what life looks like right now.
It's a different kind of busy,
And I'm ok with that!

-McGee

Cliche day.

Can you hear that So Cal?
I can almost literally feel the sound of it.
Rain.
Glorious rain.

The sound of rain after a long hot patch creates a visceral reaction in me.  It's cleansing and calming-I just want to turn off the lights, quite any noise, bundle up in a blanket, close my eyes and listen.

My day was ridiculously cliche today.

Hubby out of town.
5am baby is up.
Up, up.  Like for the day, up.

8am dropped off the boy.
Taking Little Miss into the city.
Hoping to get a diagnosis on her knee.
Frustrating process.

Car warning signals going off.
No oil in the car.
Pull over for a fast oil change.
"Ma'am there's a nail in your tire."

Seriously?
Seriously.

Meet a loved one for a hard conversation.
Painful, aggravating, tender, resolving.
Leave with a different feel than I came in with.

And then LA traffic.
In the rain.
Enough said.

Our bedroom bathroom light has had issues and needed attention from the electrician.  I've been applying make-up and getting ready with dull light at best for a week.  When I walked in from a long day and flipped the switch, lo and behold...there was light.  And everything looked different.  No more shady areas, no dark spots in the room, nothing hidden and everything clearer in the mirror.

And then the rain came.
Cleansing a bad day.
Light shed in my bathroom.
Maybe a little in my own mirror.
And also on others' feelings.

Bad day comes around feeling more like...
A complete day.

It's interesting, the cliche kind of days, they sneak up and will pass you right by if you're not paying attention. From bad to worse is challenging.  From emotionally fragile to emotional understanding is risky.  From no light to full light and rain to cleanse it all is a blessing.

Favorite line of a current song?
"We hit play.  Don't hit pause."

So play, it is...here's to what's next.
For now?
I'm going to go listen to the rain.

-McGee