Thursday, May 9, 2013

Dude.

Mean people suck.

Isn't there a bumper sticker to that effect?

Because I could totally use that about now.

It's surprising, really.  In my 17 years of being a mom, I've not really had to cross this bridge yet.  Not like this.  What do I tell my kid when a complete moron, a teammate, treats her horribly and calls her names in front of her team?  The team my kids a captain of, a significant player, a veteran. 

When my kid asks if it would have been ok to punch the other kid, do I tell her if I was there I would have beat her to it?  Do I tell her to turn the other cheek?  That the other kid has a horrible life and has no one to teach her differently?  Will that make either of us feel less hurt?  More valiant for walking away?

What about when the other kids parent is sitting there ok with the insults?  Agreeing with his own kid.  Egging her on.  Do I just tell her it doesn't matter?  That they are just broken people?

Mean people suck.

So I tell her no.
It's not ok to hit the girl.
It's ok to be hurt, to be mad, to feel embarrassed and infuriated.

It's ok to shut the other kid down with words but just enough to be able to walk away clean.

I tell her to be grateful.
To see the holes in that kids life.
And realize you don't have those holes.
To choose to let it go.

Don't excuse the behavior but don't attend the fight just because you're invited to do so.

And then I tell her I know.
I know mean people.
They don't always grow up.

Sometimes they exist well beyond high school.

And it hurts.
But we move on.
And we live our lives because it doesn't matter.
They do not matter.

Ugly people who can't move on or choose not to are just that.
Ugly people.

And then I tell her not to be one.
To remember this feeling.
And to never.
Ever.
Pass it on to someone else.

And while she sleeps, moving on and dreaming of the next day...
I drop a few tears and write a blog.

Because what else does a mom do?

Ugh.

-McGee

2 comments:

Miss Jones said...

Thanks for sharing! I needed this! Unfortunately, throughout our lives the mean people change, but they never vanish. My heart goes out to your girl!

Jason H. said...

Sounds to me like you did a great job, though it may not feel like it. Your experience gives me something to think about if I, unfortunately, experience anything similar however many years from now.

I'm sorry this had to happen to your daughter.