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Monday, February 14, 2011

rethinking "Mr. Mom"


It’s Valentine’s Day.
I’ve been known to celebrate people on their birthdays,
But today deserves a special nod!

I happen to be blessed to be married to my best friend. There are numerous things I love about him, too many to list. But here’s the thing…sometimes I forget how great he is, just the way he is. This past week I was in New York training for my new job. Mr. Man was here holding down the home front with ALL FOUR KIDS home. I am a good mom. I am. Ask anyone. But even I would feel overwhelmed by all four kids for five nights without my partner.

So I arranged the nanny’s schedule.
I signed all the kids school paperwork.
I double checked the calendar.
Did all the laundry.

I did everything I could do to set up success.
But then I left.
And it was up to him.

So here’s where it gets tricky. As a mom I happen to think that my way is, well, you know, THE way. And while nothing goes totally according to plan, I wanted to think that they would.

Go according to plan.
To my plan.

The first time things seemed to be off course I was cranky and panicky. The second time I was probably rude. The third? Definitely rude. Then I heard him refer to himself as Mr. Mom. Or maybe I saw it. Probably a Facebook thing.

And then I started thinking.
Mr. Mom?
That’s kind of offensive.
To him.
Just follow me for a sec.

Fast forward 7 days, when I get home we have a pretty clean house, food in the fridge, a husband who is really glad to see me and four happy, healthy kids who had a great week with their dad. Not a great week with their dad who pretended to be mom or did things mom's way. They had a week that went by dad’s rules. And dad’s rewards. And you know what? It was good. It was all good.

I was so focused on him pulling it off and being the perfect “Mr. Mom” that I didn’t realize I was asking him to not do him, not be dad, not do it his way. And that was wrong. As mom’s I think we tend to expect dad’s to fall in line with our train of thought, be that Mr. Mom when we can’t be there. Out of necessity this week I had no choice but to watch from a far as he did things his way. And his way was great.

So to all of those “Mr. Mom’s” out there…
Forgive us.
You do you-because you do it well!
And to Mr. Man…
On our first married Valentine’s Day…

I adore you.
Just you.
Just the way you are.
Every. Single. Day.

Thank you for being the man you are.


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