non-obligatory mother's day post

Sometimes Mother's Day can be anti-climactic.
Even upsetting and emotional.

I can remember a few Mother's Day's sitting in a pew at church hearing stories about the most amazing mother's ever and not knowing how I would or could ever measure up to that.

Add to that my preggo hormonal emotions AND the cover of Time magazine asks me this week "Are You Mom Enough" and I'm maybe at my wits end with this glorious day we celebrate mothers.

It's not a race.  It's not a challenge.  It's not a competition.  I am the right mom for each of my kids.  And my mom was the right mom for each of us girls.  The working mommy vs. stay at home mommy debate rears it's ugly head in society every couple of years and it's just infuriating.  We should be building each other up and supporting other mom's, not critiquing and feeling insufficient to some perfect mold made up in our heads.

(stepping off my soap box now)

So this mother's day has been a little different for me.  We've spent the weekend with ALL of the kids home-even Big Man on Campus who's on a mini-summer break from college.  So naturally we spent it assembling IKEA furniture and getting all of our rooms and furniture squared away for my little jelly bean to make her arrival.  And rather than compare notes or sit in a church building feeling less than I started thinking about what's the one quality MY mom has that I admire most and would like to be better at.

I've written about my mom before-I'm a big fan of hers-you can read more about her HERE

My mom is a forgiving fool.
Seriously.
She'll forgive even the most difficult of things if she loves you.

What I love about that is what it's done for us as a family.  I've known a few families that have not been able to forgive a loved ones decisions or mistakes and have severed ties or created such tension that it's difficult to live with.  I've watched other families tear each other up just to prove who's right and who's wrong creating painful riffs that last longer than they should.

In our family, family is family.  Period.  We have all made poor choices and fallen off the deep end.  Including me.  In a family of so many girls let me just say we have all pissed each other off, some of us have made life altering bad choices, others of us have judged and pointed fingers at the others (that was my specialty, truth be told), we've fought, we've fallen away from each other, we've made up, we've made messes.  But we know we're in this forever and I really think this goes back to my mom and her ability to forgive.  She taught us by example that when your sister or your loved one, or even you kid screws up it's ok to be angry.  It's ok to be disappointed.  It's ok to have a messy response and throw your own fit.  But it will never be ok to walk away and everyone gets to make a comeback.

What's odd is that I can't remember my mom ever sitting us down and explaining this or teaching us this lesson.  I've just seen it time and time again.  It's sort of amazing to me.  And she's certainly not perfect at it-I'm sure there are situations unresolved for her or things that have been painful to forgive but she does it.  Repeatedly.  Almost with reckless abandon.

I want to be more like that.
I would love to forgive more freely.
Let people have their do-overs a little more gracefully.

So that's how I choose to spend my mother's day energy today, getting ready for the baby and focusing on the part of my mom I would really like to be more like.

Feels really good.

Oh.  And mom?
Thanks for being who you are.
I sure do love you.

(And I think I just inadvertently blog named this baby in this post!  Every kid has a nickname I use here and in life...I think we'll shorten Jelly Bean to just Bean.  Yup.  That works!)

-McGee

my mom is the bomb.

In an interview this week:

“What makes you so successful and amazingly great, McGee?”
“Uh, my mom. Duh.  Google her.”

Ok so it didn’t quite go down like that but almost. Sitting through an interview this week (hopefully more to come about that on another day) I was asked why I was successful-where did my drive come from? I had to take a minute and adjust my answer because the first thing I thought was “I was just born and bred this way.” And I wasn’t sure that was the answer he was looking for.

You see, when it came to business, my mom has lived the Cinderella story-without the whole evil step sisters kind of thing and she didn't need a prince to save her-she dd that on her own. My mom got knocked down a couple times and always stood back up. Not only that, but she stood up with determination and the wherewithall to kick some serious ass and do it well. I’ve watched her succeed in business in any realm she applied herself with various degrees of financial reward and just grew up thinking that’s what you’re supposed to do. I just didn’t know any better I guess.

I’ve been knocked down a couple times. I don’t get back up as gracefully as her yet and my degrees of financial reward pale in comparison but hey-I’m only in my 30’s. I’m just getting started! But I have a hell of an example to follow. Everything that followed in that interview I could trace back to something my mom told me, showed me or expected from me at an early age.

On a randomly related note…Mr. Man and I were sitting outside the other night chatting and he told me his advice for Little Man once he was old enough to understand, would be to take a good hard look at your girlfriend’s mother. If you don’t love the mother, don’t marry the girl because odds are good…that’s what you’ll get. And seeing as how he married me even after knowing my mom really well in life and in business, I’ll take that as a huge compliment!

All this to say-today is my mom’s birthday and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate her than to play to my strengths that she gave me, fostered in me and expected from me (AND to remind her that her son-in-law loves her too). Us girls tend to rail against the “you’re just like your mom” card as teenagers but the older I get the more I hope people do see the parts of me that are just like my mom. I’m really good with that-bring it on!

Happy birthday mom!

-McGee

seeing red.

*Disclaimer.
No kids were harmed in the development of this post.
But I wanted to.

I know.
I’m a grown woman and she was just a kid.
But she punched my kid.
And I wanted to pick her up by her red headed pigtails and give her a piece of my mind.

So she’s 5?
Big deal.
She looked at least 6.
Does that make it better?

My poor JT sat there and took her punch. Three times. Finally he heard me call his name and came over, buried his face in my arm and tried not to lose it. I watched her punch him three times. And he didn’t hit back. (Point for our parenting skills) But this little rugrat’s dad also watched and said nothing.

So yeah.
I’m not perfect.
I wanted to pop her one and she was only 5.
(But she looked 6)

I wonder if the momma bear instinct ever goes away. I wonder how the hell I am going to deal with the first boy who really breaks my daughters’ hearts or hurts my kid when there’s nothing I can do about it. I wonder how my parents feel when watching the inevitable hurt that comes with love and life of my sisters and I. Because, really-people around us aren’t perfect and surely we’ve all been punched by the red headed brat a few times figuratively or literally.

And I have a sneaky feeling…
That my mom has wanted to wallop a few kids on my account too.
Which makes me feel better.

So did the ice cream I bought us both tonight.
Him for not hitting back.
And me for only hitting back in my head.

McGee

Top 10 Lessons I Learned From My Mom...so far.

10.  Surround yourself with people who know how to do what you don’t.

  9.  When you find shoes you love, buy one in each color available.

  8.  Money just adds zero’s to your problems.
It doesn’t usually solve them.

  7.  It’s OK to dream big.
 But it’s better to DO something about that dream.

  6.  Family is not just about blood.

Family should be inclusive of those we love and those who love us.

  5.  It’s OK to make mistakes, we all do, even the strongest of us.

  4.  When you do make a mistake admit it, fix it, but then move on.

  3.  Others will make mistakes that affect your life.

It will hurt-but you will survive.

  2.  Forgive them and then move on with grace.

And the number one lesson I’ve learned from my mom:

1.  Never turn away a guest for dinner. Just add vegetables.

There will always be enough.

My mom is pretty incredible. 

I love her because she's not perfect and she owns that.

She has given me what no other person

on the planet could give me the same way!

Thanks mom!

McGee