It's that time of year again.
Happens every year without fail.
Goes a little something like this...
9 year old boy head buzzed fresh? Check.
Girls haircuts? Check.
First day of school outfits laid out? Check.
Lunch fixings ready to go? Check.
Posters for the first day of school pictures? Check.
Think about how much math our 4th grader didn't do this summer? Got it.
Overthink the complicated dynamic at our 1st graders school with her biological mother who teaches 1st grade at the same school? Been doing that all week.
Ponder just how much we've prepared our 10th grader for a challenging academic year? Check.
PANIC the HELL out because tomorrow begins the last year our 12th grader will be under our roof? Double check.
And seriously. The top of the chain is a Senior at Texas A&M this year? Cannot be. How did we get here??
Why is it that every year, the night before school starts, well after our kiddo's have passed out, I'm still up pondering just how prepared they each are and tenderly recalling exactly where they all are in the cycle of life? Wasn't it enough that I had a hard time sleeping while I was the KID on the night before school started? Really? As an adult, I think it's much worse!
I know, when I'm calm and reasonable, that our kids are well rounded, they're prepared and will excel all year long, blah, blah, blah.
But late at night....I worry.
It's much harder being a mom than I thought it would be. My heart really does walk around all day outside of my body and it's crazy uncomfortable some days! The hours spent building your kids up only to spend the rest of the hours worrying that it's not enough are tough.
But the thing is...the payoff is great.
I am so proud of all six of our kids. I couldn't ask for more.
And I love being their mom.
Even on the night before school starts.
-McGee
My thoughts... Based on my own ordinary existance. And sometimes extraordinary experiences.
2 comments:
Been following your blog and I find it interesting, but this time question your use of the term biological mother. Lots of us are divorced, and as the mother of a three year old I am uncomfortable with your use of the term biological mother. A child has only one "mother" and if she is still actively parenting the child, she is the one that birthed them. A child can have a variety of step mothers. As a birth mother of your own children you should understand it is offensive when you lay claim to another's child. Being a good step mother is important and the first step in being one is to respect the bond of your step child and her Mother!
Hey Anonymous...thanks for reading and thanks for your comments. I think we may be closer in our thinking than that. As an adult who has step-parents I use the term biological parent when talking about my parents because its easier for my friends to know which parent I'm referring to.
In our home now we have a Brady Bunch kind of family where every child is home at least 50% of the time. For us that means we work really hard to make sure every child feels like an equal or even part of our family. We don't use terms like step or half. Just kids and parents.
That said, our six year old knows-from my mouth directly-that she has one mommy-the one who's tummy she grew in, who's been her mommy from day one and who will always be the most important mom she has. Me? I'm the bonus mom. I'm an extra dose of love, extra hugs and support and the mom of our house.
Regardless of how I feel about her mother, regardless of circumstance or grown up issues, it would be futile to assume any other space. I'm keenly aware and agree wholeheartedly that there is one very unique and special bond you can never intrude on between a child and their mommy. And I agree, a good step-parent will always understand that. I was raised by a step-dad who always held that line for me and I like to think I learned from the best!
Hope you'll keep reading and challenge me anytime-it's always good to clarify!
-McGee
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